Tag Archives: #lovedoesexist

Finn… My love story

I was working away from home when I met Finn. I know a lot of love stories start with “I knew I wanted him as soon as I saw him” or “It was love at first site” or something along those lines, but It wasn’t like that here. Probably because I was cranky and bitter and missed home. I wasn’t looking for love or even friends, I just wanted to work in order to provide for Kyia and then go home and spoil her with time, love and shopping.

Owl Love you Forever

I am not going to lie, I did notice him right from day 1. (Well, day 1 being the day I met him, which was actually day 8 of this job, we will call JobKL). He made sure I noticed him. Looking back, I see it all now. like they say hind-sight is 20-20.

He walked into the trailer my “crew” used as both a lunch room and (work) shop (he was on a different crew and a different shift than I) wearing his baggy blue overalls, big work boots and blue company hardhat which he lined with white electrical tape. He spewed out a very cheery “Good Morning”  as he walked over to a stool he intended to use as his work-space for the next week or so. I looked up to see his deep blue eyes smiling at me. I must admit that I did immediately think “oh he is a cutie”, but that was it and I muttered back, “Good Morning”. Every morning for the first couple-few weeks, it was the same thing, those stunning blue eyes smiling looking at me flirtatiously as he gleefully announced his presence with a “Good morning!”. I thought nothing of this and paid little attention other than to reply with a good morning. A couple days went by when us smokers (Note: I quit 10 months ago and no longer smoke. YAY me!!) discovered a closer “smoke pit” to our trailer. We started to use this closer one. It seems Finn used this one as well. There was no hesitation in his striking up conversation and including me in group conversations upon his first notice of me joining his crew’s spot for our scheduled smoke breaks. Sometime during our first (group) conversation (and many more times over the next couple months), he was sure to casually mention, multiple times, that he was single with no kids. Anytime anyone mentioned their wife or kid, he tossed his little “no wife or girlfriend here” or “I have no kids” or the more annoying, “I am not broke, I have no girlfriend or kids” into the mix. This No Wife/GF/Kids crap I did notice, I actually found it quite annoying and eye roll worthy (Now I realize he may have been trying to attract my attention to the fact he was available … and well I just wasn’t biting, yet). But I ignored the annoyance because I actually enjoyed talking to Finn. He was smart. I could actually have an intelligent conversation with someone. YAY! But I was cautious. No Girlfriend, wife or kids my ass. I don’t believe it for a second. Away from home at these “camp” jobs, more often than not, most (not all, but a large amount) of those guys will tell you they are single whether they are or not, just to get in your pants. And here is Finn, smart, handsome, nice, polite and single? Unlikely.

Eventually, during my second shift (which happened to be 3 weeks long and just before a 2 week Christmas break), Finn took things to another level (as chatting in the smoke pit was obviously not working at all), he started to sit with me at dinner, every chance he got. but I did not grant him the same courtesy (please keep in mind that I hated this place, I hated this job, I hated that I had to work away from Kyia, Also my previous “camp job” was HELL, I was bitter and cranky). Basically if I got to the dinner room first and had myself seated at a table, he would join me. If He was seated first (or not there), I sat alone. I just did not care for the company. I just wanted to eat, have my end of the day smoke and go to bed. On the days I ate alone, I rarely smoked alone. I think he waited until I was finished eating and then “followed” me out to the smoking area to strike up more conversation and spend more time with me?

Two days before Christmas vacation “go home day” Finn brought up a TV show that sounded very interesting to me. I mentioned that I would have to look that up as it sounded like something I might like to watch. DING! There is his in! Well he quickly informed me that he had the first 4 seasons on his laptop in his room and if I had a USB he would copy the seasons onto it for me. So He told me to bring my USB to dinner and he would transfer the seasons over. Cool I thought. So I did. Copying 4 seasons of a TV show takes a loooong time. So here is how that played out. We walked to his room and started the transfer. I stood next to the door and we chatted for a bit then he decided to mention that, hey since this is going to take at least an hour, would I like to watch an episode with him. Oh sure, why not. I will just sit right here on the edge of the bed (keep in mind this is a camp job. the rooms have a bed, a TV, a desk and chair. Finn is in the chair (at this time) so only the bed is free and I sure as hell wasn’t going to sit on his lap (I am still not convinced he is actually available, also, I just don’t want “anything” right now). The show starts and Finn sits on the bed beside me … now I am starting to think this may be a ploy to get me in the sack (I really had it in my head that all the men at these jobs were douche bag pigs, a lot are, but not all)… so NOT going to happen! We watched the show with nothing more than an arm around the shoulder/neck cuddly type move and a casually rejected attempt at a kiss. Minimal awkwardness. When the show was over, the copying was still not done, so we just agreed he would bring the USB with him next day.

Christmas break came and went. During that time, We became Facebook friends and started chatting back and forth during days off as well as during work shift.

Back to work after Christmas, I was a little more comfortable at this job than before (Believe it or not, this lack of hatred for this job had little to do with Finn and a lot to do with a little older man who restored my faith in humanity, but none the less, I was a bit less cranky). During this shift I changed positions and moved to a new trailer to assume my role in an office type position. This trailer happened to be one that was very close to the trailers used by Finn’s crew and was actually shared by some of them. Finn continued to, what I can only assume was, pursue me. Still with the sitting with me during dinner, still with standing beside me and engaging me in conversation in the smoking areas and still with the I have no girlfriend nonsense. But, I started to notice (a bit) more at this point (I am chalking that up to me being just a tad less miserable at JobKL). I noticed that when we were in a little group having our smoke break, Finn always moved to stand next to me. I noticed that although he had previously mentioned that he rarely went for a cigarette after dinner, yet he was out there with me every day. I noticed that he sat with me at dinner everyday, even when his “friends” or “buddies” were at another table. I noticed that he was pursuing me. We started hanging out a little more over the the course of this shift and the next.

During the following shift, I finally accepted that perhaps Finn is not only looking for a roll in the hay. Perhaps he is in fact singe/ available and actually interested in me. I did start to consider that our actual residences were thousands of miles apart but, what the hell, I let go, just a little. I mean we work for the same company, we will likely be on jobs together for a while. If it doesn’t work out, we can be put on separate jobs as the company has many jobs at many locations in the works. Also, we “live” too far away from each other for any awkward accidental run ins. (haha).  So, He won me over, for the most part. But this is still not the love story because it will still be months before I realize I Loved him (well when I finally allow myself to see it and admit it to myself), but it was fun and nice none the less. We spent most of our evenings at camp together. Still with the dinners and still with standing next to me during breaks. Except that now, if he were there first, I sat with him too. When I arrived back to work from my days off (at 9pm), he was always there to meet me and assist in bringing my bags to my room. He would often find (what seemed like) excuses to visit me in my office. We never displayed any type of affection in public. sure we hung out and ate together, but no googly eyes or hand holding or kissing for anyone to see. Although one day during our last shift he came in to my office and snuck a kiss, just a little one, a tiny peck. I think that may have been the moment I started to fall.

Everyone knew. Most thought we were just “sleeping together” (and they spread those rumours, which we denied right to the end of that job). But one person saw that it may be more than that. A co-worker on my crew who happened to know Finn and be a friend of his, we will call him Quinn. I liked Quinn, he was a little weird, but he was decent. On a trip back to work from days off, within minutes of arriving at camp, with Finn and I newly into the “seeing each other” stage, Quinn and I were chatting and somehow the topic of Finn being there for the arrival of the bus came up. Quinn gave me a look and said something like “He is waiting for you to arrive” Me still being in denial said. “No, he is just out having a smoke”. Quinn, who doesn’t like to beat around the bush much said something along the lines of “I have known Finn for a few years and he has never come out for a smoke after dinner, let alone at 9 at night. He really likes you and he is waiting for you” (Not what he actually said, but this is the summation and gist of it). I was taken aback a bit and really had nothing to say. Quinn rendered me speechless with a simple sentence (or 2). A rarity for sure. But it made me start to think and notice even more.

We spent the next few months together at work, during breaks and every evening. On days off we messaged back and forth daily. It was kind of nice, different, but nice.

After 7 months, JobKL was coming to an end. As it wrapped up, I wondered if this was it. Is this going to continue as a long distance relationship and on jobs together here and there or are we just going to go our separate ways. I visited his actual home at the end of this job and spent the weekend with him before heading home myself unsure as to whether or not we were continuing on … (Neither one of us are very good at those relationship talks, so we just kind of went with it and let the chips fall where they may). We continued to chat and keep in contact daily and a couple weeks(ish) after JobKL finished, Finn was placed at JobCL. He fairly quickly inquired as to whether or not they needed anyone with my skills and, voila, we worked our second job together the following shift. This led me to believe he wanted to continue on, and …wait … is this turning into an actual relationship??

On my first day, there were a few of us newbies to this site and Finn took charge to make sure we all knew where we were going. Not just me, but everyone. *sigh* He is so thoughtful and helpful. I think I fell a tiny bit more. Our time (meaning the time Finn and I spent together) at this job was fairly similar to the one at Job KL, pretty much always together. The only difference, we were on the same shift and therefore got to spend each whole shift together (minus working hours of course). As Finn started one shift before me, it turned out he also ended one shift before me. On his last day, I happened to be a bit sick. I was quite upset about this illness, which only made it worse. I did not know when I would next see Finn and I was stuck in the lunch trailer waiting for a drive back to camp because I was vomiting and nauseous (no I wasn’t pregnant! I had some stomach flu or something) instead of spending his last day with him, who wouldn’t be upset! When it was time for him to leave, he came into the trailer to find me still sitting there with my head down on the table, nauseous and barely able to move. he leaned down, whispered “feel better”, kissed the top of my head (falling more…) and left. As he was walking out the door to catch his ride home he said something along the lines of I will talk to you in a bit or I will text you later or something like that. He did.

He went directly to another job when he left JobCL as did I (too bad they were different jobs this time). My final job with this company actually. JobFS a hotel instead of a “camp”. His job location had him pretty much passing right through the area where I was (ok, it was a bit out of the way, but not much). He drove to work, as opposed to the typical work provided transportation, left a day early and stopped in to see me with every trip back to work. It always managed to be my day off (this (my) job had a different schedule than the previous ones, it was 6 days of work and 1 off for 30 (ish) days, but still away from home so we stayed for the 30(ish) days straight). So Finn would stop in on his way home spend the day and night with me and then continue his trek to work when I left for work in the morning.

JobFS ended and I spent the next 6 months jobless, not because the company had no work for me, but because I decided I can no longer do these away jobs. Spending this much time away from Kyia was mentally draining on both of us. I needed a local job. During these 6 months I spent 5 of them travelling to Finns place in Alberta every 3-4 weeks for a weekend here and 4 or 5 days there. This was tough (and expensive). When Kyia and I finally moved to Alberta (which was a decision based solely on what was best for myself and Kyia and Finn being there was not a factor, just an added bonus) was when I finally accepted that I was in love. It wasn’t until My daughter and Finn met (which was not until after we moved to Alberta) that I let myself feel it. When I saw that he was amazing with Kyia and she just adored him, I was hooked.

It has been just about a year and a half since I moved to Alberta and nearly 3 years since the day we met. We are now (pretty much) living together (he still has his place but 1. he is never there and 2. he is allowing a friend to basically sublet it for a bit) and I couldn’t be happier. (Well I could, I could win the lottery!)