Tag Archives: Anxiety Sucks

You are the problem

Saw this one that a few of my friends posted on their facebook page (or a similar message) recently and it got me quite riled up.

if you don't, I won't

FIRST of all, if this is how “you” feel, and/or if “you” need to say this, and/or if “you’ do this or act like this… then the reason “we” don’t talk anymore,  is “YOU”. You are simply a foolish egotistical jackass who does not deserve “my” friendship. (I am using you, we and I/my/me generically)

Second, all this is saying is the person posting it is a whinny ignorant spoiled brat stating “if you don’t have to, then neither do I”, like a damn 3 year old. Seriously say the following out loud with that nasty, snotty childish tone in your voice “fine then, I am not your friend anymore“. Did you say it out loud? You sounded like a fucking idiot, just like that “meme”/”quote” sounds when you post it, as that is essentially what you are saying.

Third, just because he is an asshole doesn’t mean you need to be one, just because she is a snob doesn’t mean you need to be one, just because they hate doesn’t mean you should. Just because one person is not personable doesn’t mean you should be too. Some people are not a “people person” Some people are not social. Some people are hermits. Some people have social anxiety. Some people are extreme introverts. Some people NEED other people to contact them as they just “can’t” for one reason or another.

My 12 year old daughter’s father says something like this to her. Something along the lines of “Well, you never call me either.” REALLY!!! You are her father, the parent, you childish sack of shit (the deadbeat has been saying this since she was 3)!! I better not get started on the deadbeat, he is a whole other story and a lot of venting and ranting.

I, over the years, have gone from an extrovert to an extreme introvert with high social anxiety. I do NOT contact anyone as I “should”, according to social standards. But I am not a complete shut-in and if you call, I will (sometimes) talk (especially if it is urgent), if you invite me, I will often go, If you text, I will answer. People drain me and wear me down. Interactions often cause me panic and anxiety attacks. Some people (Myself included) need to mentally prepare themselves for even the smallest of interactions. A simple phone call can put me into complete shut-down mode. A minor change in plans can ruin a whole day. A surprise visit could shut me in for days to recover. (I say can and could, as it may not always happen, but it has and likely will again).

So think about this, the next time you are acting like a selfish, spoiled child … Perhaps the person is not contacting you because they have an illness and they just cannot, perhaps they need you and you are too wrapped up in your own self-entitlement to inquire and care, perhaps they are having panic attacks right now, wondering why you won’t call, perhaps there is anxiety rising at this moment as the person is worrying about what they did wrong to make you not care … or perhaps the person is not contacting you because they realized you are a self-centred, narcissistic cunt.

IF you care about a person, YOU will contact them, whether they call you or not, whether they return your calls or not, whether you “hang out” or not … unless your both filled with social anxiety and have trouble socializing, in which case, it will happen as it happens and NEITHER of you will stop caring… But that is a whole other situation.

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