Category Archives: Not so smart after all

The Job From Hell, The Boss of your Nightmares and the Cowardly Coworkers

WARNING- Lots of cursing in this post! Lots of vulgar name-calling!!

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So I have a new job, JOBHP. I loathe it … almost as much as I abhor Sean… well actually it is not the job I hate so much as it is the psychotic abomination that is my boss. I have been at this Job for just over 3 months, just over half way to my probation being over, long enough to have my anxiety and stress level through the roof. Yes, you read that correctly 6 months probation period … who the fuck does that? I have it figured out though, they make it 6 months hoping that if you make it 6 months with your mouth shut that you will just stay that way… HAHAHAHAHA. Boy, is that cunt in for a treat. This mouthy bitch is keeping a log of it all and will reveal it all the very moment her probation is over. That deranged moron should not be working in any position that gives her “power” over people and I will make it my mission that one of us goes… and with the records I am keeping, there is a very good chance that will be her.

Ok, we need to give this controlling, bullying, vindictive cunt a name. Let’s call this horrific psychopath boss of mine, Andera. For my own personal reasons, this name fits this malicious, demanding, narcissistic personality more than (almost) any other I can think of. So Andera it is, but keep in mind I may still refer to her with any number of other vulgar names as she fits them all).

So I suppose you are wondering why I am so hateful towards this despicable, harassing, imbecile. Well It is a very long story, 71 pages of journal entries long. yup, in 16 weeks I managed to muster up 71 pages. Some days had one entry, some had 5 or more, but nearly every day had at least one. Now, not ALL the entries are about Andera. Most of them, I’d guess about 9/10, are. The few entries not involving Andera are about the arrogant ice queen’s little princess minion. Let’s call this pretentious brown-noser, Elise. I am not going to bore you with the entire Journal typed out, so I will sum up as best I can.

Andera spies on and micro-manages everything we do, especially Suzanne. Suzanne is under a microscope. Andera has demanded permanent access to our email and our insists we give her our computer passwords. She bullies, harasses, yells at and belittles everyone and anyone. Andera has actually told us that we are not to talk to or ask questions to anyone but her. She takes credit for things others do. She is rude, ignorant and condescending. She is unprofessional, disrespectful and inappropriate. She blames people for shit they didn’t do, especially Suzanne (and the girl who was there before me). She scolds, blames, and treats us like we are in preschool. She is hateful, vengeful and and an all around selfish cunt. Some incidents to back up these statements ….

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On day 2 I started to realize what I was in for when the Battle-ax basically told me and … oh let us back up a teensy bit. I need to tell you about some other important folks in this testimony… There is Suzanne. Suzanne is the main target of the cold blooded and heartless Andera. Suzanne thinks very differently and has a different way of doing things than Andera. Andera HATES it. Suzanne has been with the company for 3 years. Then there is Elise whom I mentioned before who has been with the company almost 3 years. She is a lying ratfaced asskisser. Brenda is our veteran. She has been with the company for 22 years. She is a bit of a character. She talks loudly to herself and it usualy involves cursing, which makes me giggle most of the time. She is a great person and tells intriguing stories of “back in the day”. She too very much dislikes Andera. Tonya was hired the same day as myself. She is pretty cool. But is a little too timid with the whole Andera situation. She is afraid for her job, and I get that, but I plan to speak up as soon as the opportunity rises, I don’t think Tonya ever will. This is our direct “Team”. We have many other co-workers, but this is the “team” that works under the Monster

Ok, back to my story….

On day 2 of working at JOBHP The bossy Andera decided to basically tell Suzanne and I that we are not to talk to each other. Seriously! We were chatting a bit while working (Literally, a bit. We were talking very quietly, and just started to talk, about 30 seconds in) and that idiot told us we were chatting too much and weren’t focusing enough! Yup. That Jerk made me realize immediately that I disliked her very much … It wasn’t long after that when I developed a hatred for her that I have felt for very few. (Yup. My hatred list jumped to 4.)

On MULTIPLE occasions, while Suzanne was on the phone, Andera would come rushing out of her office and actually interrupt and yell at Suzanne. This also happens when Suzanne is speaking to someone in person. On a many occasions, if Andera hears anyone speaking with Suzanne, Andera has come running out screaming. For example, once she came running out and yelled (in the middle of Suzanne explaining a task to me), “What do you think you are doing!?” Suzanne explained, Andera snarled and walked away. Another time, the same rushing out only this time when Suzanne explained what she was “teaching me” Andera Yelled “NO!” and then explained EXACTLY what Suzanne just explained. One more. Same beginning scenario, Andera ran out yelled “what are you doing!?!” Suzanne explained. This time Andera told me her version of the “lesson” which was the most confusing thing I had heard to date. She (Andera) told me on multiple occasions to not ask Suzanne for help because the different explanations might confuse me. I swear to god! Does she think I am a fucking 3 year old? Does she thinks EVERYONE learns the same? Does she think I am a fucking moron? What an ignorant cunt!

While we are on the topic of that mindless moron treating “us” like 3 year olds … I was speaking to a co-worker and he confirmed a (yes or no) question I had. Andera, standing over my shoulder (as she does with most of us as soon as she hears voices), said to me after the co-worker left, in a VERY condescending tone, “Did you understand his instructions?”. I honestly think I looked at her like she had 3 fucking heads when she said that, I mean really. I did respond with “umm Yeah, considering he didn’t give me instructions, I asked him a question” She made me explain every detail of the conversation and then said, “well don’t you ever assume anything, you come and ask me and me only everything”. I can’t make this shit up.

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She has EVERY aspect of our jobs controlled and monitored. This retard is continuously telling us how to do things … She makes no sense, she has no idea what the fuck she is talking about. I am damn sure she fakes her way through her own job. She literally tries to tell us how to do things she has no idea how to do. She might as well say, “This is how you get up this hill, Ride your bike backwards while closing your eyes, oh and use your feet to steer, your head goes on the seat and you use your hands to pedal”. Yes she IS that bad.

 

This Psycho, hides shit to “test us”. No joke. One time I spent an hour looking for something only to go and ask her if she had seen it, in a panic that we lost it, and her exact words were ” Oh you passed my test, I want to make sure you are coming to me” Yeah…She regularly wastes our time. pretty much daily.

She promotes and demands “tattling”. Seriously. this idiot has “secretly” asked everyone to “tell her” if they see anything out of the ordinary, wrong or not in the right place… usually she is referring to Suzannes work. Funny thing is, we only tell her things if we absolutely have to as a last resort, and if it is about Elise, she laughs it off but if it is about ANYONE else (ESPECIALLY Suzanne) she loses her shit!

We had a client come in for a meeting and a tour and as they were leaving she basically told them we were too stupid to write an email. Yup. Insulted her “team”. To. A. Client. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK! She actually said, loud enough for us all to hear, in her fake customer flirty voice, “I am training them to write emails, Not one of them have any concept on how to write an email for our customers.” She went on and on about it with them for a good 10 minutes. Let me tell you that this made her entire “team” PISSED OFF!! (well except Elise who lives in a bubble and worships the ground Andera walks on). Can’t write a fucking email. I can write circles around that ignorant moron. And I bet so can EVERYONE else on her “team”. She is a cold-hearted bitch and portrays this in her blunt, cold emails… just saying. I was so livid that I had to leave. I had to “go to the washroom” for a good 15 minutes just to calm down and not flip out screaming at that “Hey look at me, I am soooo smart and everyone else is below me” twit. Yes, this one still gets my blood boiling. I might also add that this specific client is one of MY clients and she refused to even introduce me (this complaint might sound a little juvenile, but it really annoyed me). Now I get that because I am new she maybe didn’t want to tell them I would be handling their account … but a “Hey this is so and so, she is training and you will likely be hearing from her too”. But let me tell you, she made sure her little suckass Elise was in there with an introduction. My account, but Elise gets called in for a formal introduction … makes complete sense.

This one still gets my goat too. I got scolded for providing an excel file with pertinent information to a co-worker. An excel file which I keep track of stuff that the co-worker needed. Sure he could have looked up the information in the system, but why when I had it all right there with the click of the “attach file” button. He asked for some of the info. I did a snippit of the information he needed and attached the entire file for his convenience to manipulate it as he needed. That ignoramus actually came to my desk and scolded me (Oh, don’t forget she has access to my email account as she demanded on day 1). She seriously said ” He has the system and can look it up himself!” when I replied with, “Well I already had it and I thought it would be more convenient for him…” she cut me off and yelled “I said he does not need it” and walked away. Who the hell scolds someone for “going above and beyond”????!!!!!

Suzanne and I went out for lunch and got back 4 minutes late. we took 34 minutes instead of 30. OH MY GOD!!! Call the police we are horrible criminals! right? Seriously, that was damn near her reaction. (let me add a side note … We are ALWAYS careful with breaks because we know how Andera is. Sure we may be a minute or 2 late, or early but we are all always in the ballpark (except Elise who takes multiple breaks that are ALWAYS over by at least 10 minutes and who lies about us … yeah I took a 20 minute morning break once and she told Andera that I had been gone 45 minutes.) ALSO, I come in 30 minutes early and Suzanne usually stays 20-30 minutes late. Neither of us take our afternoon breaks, so it really should not matter if we are 4 minutes or even 10 minutes late from lunch, but we usually aren’t). So Andera did make a big deal of it demanding that everyone pay attention to their break times. Breaks are 15 minutes ONLY and Lunch is 30 minutes ONLY. Not a minute more. So guess what, My computer now does not get touched until 8 am I take 30 minutes for lunch. two 15 minute breaks and finish at exactly 4. FUCK HER.

This was the most appalling incident that happened to me that I can recall. It may seem minor and simple to you but I don’t think I have EVER been so angry in my life (not including with Sean … He makes me angrier than anyone ever could, because he hurts my baby!). That Ignorant, high and mighty, CUNT during her unnecessary daily morning meeting (yes she has a meeting every morning and wastes about 30 minutes of our day talking about shit she does not need to talk about) said to me … oh before I get there let me tell you, I am an introvert, I do not like to “stare” at people when they are talking and I do not hear all that well. So when taking with someone one, I will often fight my urges to look away and watch their lips, putting the lip movements with their words allows me to “catch” what they are saying. If in a group setting or some setting where I can not clearly see lips moving I will aim my ear more towards the speaker and listen. How I listen actually doesn’t matter, this fucking bitch had NO right to “call me out” when I wasn’t looking at her during her morning “sermon”. Oh yes she did! She singled me out and told me to look at her when she is talking. I kid you not. AND THEN!! When she was about to show a paper she had, she shoved it not 6 inches from my face. It took everything in my power not to punch that goddamned cocksucking whore in the fucking mouth. I wanted to hurt her real bad!! I still start to shake thinking about it! I bit my tongue… real hard. It hurt.

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The creepy fucking lunatic stalks us. I am not joking. EVERY time someone leaves their desk for any reason, she rushes out demanding to know where we are. EVERY break I have (except when she was on vacation) she comes into the lunch room, looks around and leaves. She stands at the door of her office and around corners listening to what people are saying. She stands over us when we are on the phone. She eaves drops on anyone and everyone. She is the creepiest creature I have ever encountered, and I have encountered some creepy mother fuckers.

Suzanne has gone to HR on multiple occasions about the way Andera treats her. Nothing has come of it. Andera gets a “talking to”, she is fake nice for a day or 2 and then it starts all over again and gets worse each time. In retaliation, Andera put Suzanne onto probation. Some program that basically says “if you don’t do as I say I can fire you. Muahahaha”. This program is complete bullshit. EVERYTHING on it is shit NO ONE does (Yes Suzanne showed me the paperwork). Everything on it is NOT priority stuff. It is nothing more than Andera saying “oh yeah, you want to go to HR about me, take that!” So with Andera breathing down her neck even more (which I didn’t even know was possible), Suzanne went back to HR, this time with a very formal harassment complaint in which she made sure Andera’s boss got a copy too. HR HAS to investigate now!! BAM! Because I keep a journal, I gave Suzanne exact dates for some incidents that happened involving her. This is in the works right now and I hope beyond hope that I get interviewed! Sadly, Psycho-Andera has taken this harassment to an all new level since the claim was filed and she is treating Suzanne even worse! She is one fucked up individual … One would think that with a harassment claim filed against you, you would be nicer and suck up a little … Nope .. she is worse.

I am sure you are asking yourself why the hell I have been putting up with this bullshit and I assure you I ask myself this EVERY DAY. I come up with the same answers every time.
1. My probation is 6 months, during those 6 months that cunt can fire me just for looking at her the wrong way.
2. The are minimal jobs out there right now. I HAVE been looking. Everyday.
3. I actually like EVERYONE else that works there (with the exception of little miss “I am better than you” princess minion, Elise. I don’t care much for her).
4. I don’t hate my job (I don’t love it either…), I hate the environment in which that drama queen and her princess create.

I think one of the things that bothers me the most is that EVERYONE sees it (Except her superiors, she is all fake and flirty when they are around) yet no one says a word. Andera had been this way long before I came along and no one has spoken up. Suzanne has gone to HR and Brenda has gone to HR (So I am told) and yet this woman still has a job? There are dozens of people who see what she does, hear what she says, and knows how she is. She bullies even those outside her department, yet No one speaks up. I am confused… These are people who have been with the company for many years and they are too afraid, selfish or whatever reason to say enough is enough and put a stop to her harassment and bullying. I know why I am quiet right now, but that quietness WILL end when my probation is up or when I just can not take any more … or when/If I am interviewed for this harassment case.

I am convinced that if she is not fired from this harassment claim, when my probation is over, one of us will be leaving JOBHP…. If I can make it that long…

I quit

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Even the strongest of women have weak moments

How Stupid can a man be?

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A woman who is just about 5′ 10″, 150 lbs, comfortably wears clothing sized 9-10 (one should also note that the AVERAGE size of an American woman is 14) and is typically described as tall and thin says to her Significant other while looking at shirts secretly feeling mildly insecure about her size (the belly fat has been getting to her). “I hate how things are sized these days. I take a large in shirts and I do not think I am a very large woman. I think I should be a medium maybe a small, ok maybe not small, but medium for sure. I am not very large. But Everything I wear is Large and Extra-Large.”

Man says: Yes you are, your what? 5’9, 5’10?

Woman says: I don’t mean large in height, I am talking about shirts, I am not a large woman, I should fit a medium comfortably.

Idiot Man: Yes you are, I have dated woman who were this tall (holds hand to a height of about 5 feet) and this small, (holds hands out about 8-10 inches apart) they are small. You are definitely large.

Woman getting highly annoyed repeats: I am NOT a large woman, I am tall, but not Large. If you think about all the people, on average I am NOT large.

Man looking for death says: But you are. What about all the tiny Asians and Philippinos they are small, You’re Large compared to them.

The man continues like this as the woman slips into silence. The eyes glare, the lips tighten, the face reddens, the voice completely disappears…

Woman silently walks away, to avoid killing man. She hides in room for hour to calm herself and talk herself out of this insecurity she is having, Trying desperately to keep from crying, repeatedly telling herself: “You are not fat, you are not large.” And then the self conversation begins … He is a dumbass. As a dumbass, he has no clue what he is talking about. You are not large. Why the hell did he compare your size to other women he has dated? Is he not happy with your size? Screw him. He is an idiot and completely brainless. Why the hell did he not just say “No honey, you are not large” or better yet simply shut up, smile, and nod, that numbskull!! Does he actually think you are fat? Where the hell is his common sense? Why the hell did he continue to call me large even after I started getting upset … could he not see that I was getting annoyed and angry? Am I fat? Maybe I am a “large” woman. I am NOT large. He is the dumbest man I know! Why the hell could he not just shut the hell up. I am not big. He has no idea what he is saying and is a dolt. Ignore him. I am not large. An hour of this and the woman emerges, back to normal. (unlike the “typical” woman, this chick, does not (normally) dwell on shit and hold grudges)

Let us continue this little story with a step back … the man had to be somewhere within an hour and a half of the beginning of this “chat”and while hiding in her room, avoiding the man, the woman lost track of time. When she came out of the room with the things he needed to bring with him, he was pissed off and cranky. She can only assume this was because he had but 30 minutes to get to where he needed to be. So … As usual, she is the bad guy!

You just ruined your woman’s day and you have no fucking clue. Congratulations.

Why are men so clueless to the emotions of women? Why are men so insensitive to the feelings of a woman. How is it that after thousands of years, men still have no common sense when it comes to women? Why? I get it that men don’t “understand” women .. hell, neither do I! but seriously, since when has common sense and respect left the picture?

Boys. Choose your words carefully. Even the strongest of women have weak moments and you might fuck with her emotions without even knowing it. When she shuts up .. it is probably best you shut the fuck up too. Better yet .. Don’t ever tell your woman she is large!! For Fuck sake … put that on the list of things that should be common sense! OK guys, Here are (some of) the common sense rules as may apply to this post.  (and this goes for girls too… [The words man and woman can be, and should be  used interchangeably] ).

  1. Do NOT say or imply that your woman is fat, ugly, scrawny, plain, average, or ANY word or combination of words that might make her feel less than she is. If she is not PERFECT to you, then you are with the wrong woman. Let her go NOW, so she can find someone who WILL respect her.
  2. NEVER EVER Belittle your lover!
  3. Do NOT EVER compare your woman to any other woman!! EVER. In ANY way! (Unless you are telling her she is better than said other woman…but safest bet is to just leave ALL other woman OUT of the picture.
  4. If she suddenly clams up … shut your god-damned mouth and stop talking. Also, this may be a good time to start apologizing!!  
  5. If She is smart enough to walk away as opposed to yelling at, screaming at, swinging at or killing you, leave her the hell alone until SHE feels calm enough to emerge.
  6. Don’t You dare get cranky after YOU act like an Ass!!! This makes you a bigger asshole!!
  7. Wake the fuck up. Respect your woman. Open your eyes and pay attention to the facial expressions that you are definitely getting!!

Please note* I have not edited this … this post is raw emotion that I may edit at another time.

Everyone is stupid if you really think about it. 

You see, one may be smart in maths and sciences and know nothing on geography (like me!). A second person might excel in history and bomb out on a grammar and/or spelling test. Person number three could be a genius in all that is mechanical yet a complete dumbass when it comes to trying to add 2+2. Along comes person number 4 who knows everything there is to know that comes from a book and/or schooling, but has no common sense. That is the kicker … Those are the people I personally consider stupid. If you have no common sense, well … there is no hope for you.

Here are “some” things I consider when labeling a person as “stupid” (or out-right “stupid douche-bag” in some cases) – in no particular order.

(note that some of the other things I list MAY fall under other listed items … guess what … I don’t really care.  🙂 )

1. Lack of common sense.

2. Thinking you are “smarter” than everyone/someone else because you know something they don’t … ummm it is highly likely they know lots of things you don’t.

3. Lack of Manners

4. Bad Parenting (and I don’t just mean making mistakes as a parent, because we all do… I mean being an out-right bad parent … like a dead-beat and such)

5. Arrogance

6. Willful Ignorance

7. Criminals (on many levels… but not necessarily all)

8. Quitters (with the exception of quitting bad habits such as smoking)

9. Disrespectful and/or rude people.

10. Drivers who cut people off, don’t use blinkers, excessive speeders, “grandpa” drivers, and distracted drivers (to name a few)

11. The people who gave the above people their license.

12. People who drink and drive

13. Liars

14. People who believe their own lies.

15. Unappreciative people.

16. Cheaters.

17. Lack of sense of humour … Now this is a tough one because everyone has different senses of humour and I appreciate that … I am talking about the people who “scoff” at what you may find funny (unless what you find funny is harming another person/animal or property not yours… I think that falls under criminals)

18. Closed-mindedness

19. Control freaks

20. ACTUAL Bullies

21. People who call everything bullying … that kid gave my kid a dirty look, he is being a bully … F#@$ off.

22. People who “brainwash” their children as opposed to teaching them to think for themselves.

23.  Judgmental people.

24. Racists

24. Politically correct junkies.

25. Emotionally/mentally/physically abusive people.

26. Constantly Negative people.

27. Constantly negative people who refuse to do anything to change… “My life sucks” “so change it” “it will still suck” “shut up then”

28. Band wagon jumpers.

29. Drama Queens

30. People who think that if they found it on the internet it must be true.

31. People who read just headlines and then Troll the comments

32. people who do not do their research … especially if they cry about it later … and double if they do not learn from it.

33. People who do not learn from their mistakes … ever.

34. …To Be continued ….

So if you are calling someone stupid because they don’t know where Timbuktu is, the answer to 6 x 8 off the top of their head or where the camshaft is in their car, then you should probably take note that: You are stupid too!!