Monthly Archives: October 2015

Happy Hallow’s Eve

Halloween. Hallowe’en. All Hallows Eve(ning). Hallowed Eve(ning). Holy Eve(ning).

ohtoptens.com
ohtoptens.com

However you say it, it is the day of Trick or treating, collecting candy from strangers homes, dressing up in (supposedly) frightening costumes (Let’s face it there are a lot of princesses and “sexy Nurse” costumes out there), visiting haunted houses, having spine-chilling Halloween parties, and frightening the bejeebies out of people. (to name a few). It is a day and night of horrifying fun!

I am not going to get into all the Halloween history and lore, although I do find it interesting, it is likely you will not and there is sooo much (if you think you might, feel free to do some research on it. Wikipedia is a good place to start as this will give you a nice summary).

I want to do some Halloween complaining and etiquette info after seeing all the over-protective parents whining about Halloween traditions and being lured in by scare tactics.

Now Remember, I live in Canada. Snow and freezing temperatures on October 31st would not be unusual in some areas. Well, I actually saw someone complain (on a social media site) about the cold temperatures and stated that the kids should go out earlier when it is warmer … Ummmm…. If some of these kids stopped dressing in “adult” costumes and put some damn clothes on, dressing as CANADIAN CHILDREN should, they wouldn’t need to go out while it is warmer.

Another irritating complaint: It is too dark for the Children to go out after dinner … When I was a kid, we didn’t go trick or treating until it started to get dark and we ate dinner first. I mean, really, Isn’t that part of the fun? Being out in the dark, slightly scared and overly excited of what the night will bring. The darkness is part of the ambience. It is part of what makes Halloween. Every year I see kids out earlier and earlier and it mildly annoys me. I do not answer my door before 5 … if it is a Mon-Fri, a lot of people are likely not even home before 5 … another reason to wait until AFTER dinner, the more people home, the more candy! Yay!

Heard complaint 3: People give kids the scary drugs that look like candy. This is the one that REALLY annoys me. Really? are you that “gullible” that you believe someone would hand out thousands of dollars in drugs over a few bucks worth of candy? Drugs are expensive! Each one of those candy looking pills cost 20, 30 40 maybe even 50 dollars each. Do you give each child hundreds of dollars in candy? Nope. Then it is unlikely that some dealer is going to throw away all of his drugs. Don’t get me wrong, always check your children’s candy for tampering before you let them eat it. Sadly there are psychopaths out there. It is Highly unlikely that any of the candy has been tampered with (See this story for a sum up) in anyway but better to check it anyway as it has happened

If the parents want an early/safe/warm trick or treating experience for their bubble wrapped children there are (typically) malls and other places that do an early and/or inside trick or treat. Do that and stop your whining.

So … Eat your dinner first,

recipes.sparkpeople.com
recipes.sparkpeople.com

buy (or make) your (kids) costumes big enough to fit over a snowsuit 

http://www.disneystore.com/costumes-costume-shop-clothes-olaf-plush-costume-for-kids/mp/1381496/1000396/
Picture courtesy of disneystore.com

and wear reflective gear/bright colours

pinksuedeshoe.com
pinksuedeshoe.com

or and/or carry a flashlight/Glowstick

www.mintoncardinc.com
mintoncardinc.com

And have a Happy and safe Halloween!!

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Lies, Manipulation, Scare tactics … The Canadian Government.

I have made it very clear that I do NOT want the conservatives CONTROLLING my Country and here I am going to tell you some of the reasons why.

http://paov.ca/mediamenu/alternative-news/4487-stop-harper-crimes-against-democracy1440704706

Harper’s Tax breaks are nothing but bribes. Yes, Harper is offering Tax breaks left, right and centre … but is he doing this out of the goodness of his heart? FUCK NO. He is bribing you for your vote! And some of you (approximately 30%) are stupid enough to fall for it. You all disgust me. Wake up, pay attention and educate yourself. Just because your dad voted Conservative doesn’t mean you need to.

According to the Huffington Post, Harper raised “sneaky” taxes, where the “typical” person would not notice. He is taxing parking at hospitals, he increased taxes on imported goods and increased the tax on small business. To name just a few. How about that increase in EI payroll taxes. Every year you pay more and more into the EI fund. And then you lose your job. Do you get EI benefits? Only if you jump through hoops. Fire blazing hoops. Please correct me if I am wrong but, I believe I saw some stats (I can not find these stats now) that stated that less than 50% of applicants are actually being “approved” for EI benefits. This is despicable. Making it too hard for citizens to get approved for the money WE paid into just so the government can STEAL it from us to “show” a balanced budget or a surplus or whatever lying term you want to use. Yet … our national debt continues to increase … suspicious…

Let me sum this up in laments terms for you greedy people accepting the bribe who are obviously not smart enough to understand.

Your friend gives you $5.00 as a gift. He then picks your pockets and scores $50.00. He takes this stolen money and spends it frivolously or on things that matter to him alone, not paying all his bills or debts, putting himself more in the hole by $20.00. He then decides to offer you another $5.00 gift so he can pick your pocket again and pulls out $40.00. Now your friend is up $80.00 and you are out $80.00 without even realizing it. Who wins? (dollar amounts are not to scale) This is essentially what Harper is doing. He is offering you all this “Free Money” and at the same time stealing even more right from under your nose.

Veterans.These men and women gave their lives (both literally and metaphorically) so YOU could have the freedoms that Harper is trying to take away. THEN that *insert insulting name of your choice here(I like “Vomitous Mass”* has the nerve to disrespect these veterans by insulting them and attacking them (as the Tyee puts it). What kind of monster would treat a real life hero in such an atrocious way? And you want this man to continue his reign? You are obviously heartless.

Bill C51. Protection from terrorists. Basically summed up: Everyone is a terrorist. This bill gives the government permission to detain ANYONE for ANY REASON! No proof, no reason. they just have to justify it as “I thought he was a terrorist”. Having an opinion that differs from the government is an act of terrorism under this law. I may be going to jail for a very long time, along with a lot of others I know, because I do NOT agree with this government AT ALL!!! And don’t get me started on the Fair Elections Act (Bill C-23) Harper’s way of eliminating voters that would most likely vote against him. These bills go against all of our freedoms depicted in Part 1 of The Constitution Act, the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms! YOU are losing what little freedom you have left.

Silencing Scientists. hmmm… those freedoms again. Who the hell do they think they are to not allow scientists to FULLY share their findings. (and people wonder why I do not trust “science” it is not actually science that I do not trust it is the biased research and the fudged data…or in this case lack there of)

Harper claims a fight on terrorism … perhaps he should start with himself! Ban the Burqa (Don’t get me wrong, as I previously stated, I do NOT agree with the burqa being allowed anywhere a ski mask is not allowed), Bill C-51, Fight on Terrorism. These are scare tactics. Harper is preying on your fear. These things are meant to scare you into voting for Harper. Vote for me, I will protect you from the big bad (imaginary) terrorist. Let’s be realistic here. CANADIANS kill Canadians more than Terrorists kill Canadians. Morons.

The definition of a terrorist is “a person who uses terrorism in the pursuit of political aims” … according to this definition and Mr. Harpers actions … HARPER IS A FUCKING TERRORIST!!!

The real face of a terrorist.
The real face of a terrorist.

hitler harper

And then I read this. That Lying Scum accuses Justin of Supporting pot sales to children and neighbourhood brothels. What the actual fuck!! Are you kidding me … wait, nope, I believe it! He knows he is done and is trying every angle possible to manipulate, lie and scare his way back in. This man makes me literally sick to my stomach. How Stupid does he think we are …. Sadly some of you are that fucking stupid.

I would like to apologize to my “conservative” friends, but if this is what you want, a Prime Mister who Bribes and scares you into a vote, a Prime minister who disrespects you and steals from you, a prime minister who thinks so little of our freedoms that he abolishes them, then my respect for you just dissipated. I changed my mind and take back my apology, If you are willing to be so uninformed, uneducated and blind, you do not deserve an apology, I DO! My Friends list likely is about to diminish for this one and all I can say is good-bye. I see all your pro-Harper posts and I wince when I see them, your opinion is your own and I accept that, and I remain your friend, I have a bit less respect for you, but I am not so low as to “un-friend” you over a difference of opinion…even if your opinion makes you look like a complete ignorant moron. I just simply choose to accept and (mostly) ignore… but remember My opinion is My own (except that, Mine is backed up, not just a meme, and not about greed and fear) Accept it, ignore it, I don’t care. I have accepted that you do NOT do your homework. I have accepted that you are Naive. I have accepted that you have not researched at all. I have accepted that you are blinded by greed and fear. I have accepted that for some reason you CHOOSE to not see what a horrible Canada Harper is creating. I should probably tell you that It appalls me that you believe the lies and accept them as law. It disgusts me. Your ignorance makes me sick. But Now, I am simply shaking my head in disbelief that you are, in fact, so naive to his manipulation. Do you even pay attention? Are you even awake? This man gives you “tax breaks” but STEALS your tax dollars. He gives you “tax breaks” but RAISES taxes. He takes 10 fold of what he gives but YOU refuse to see it. Open your goddamn eyes. He is the only terrorist in Canada. He is a rude, ignorant, EVIL, Scumbag!!!

Guess what Canada … a Prime minister is supposed to RUN a country NOT Bully and Control it!! Wake the fuck up, do your goddamn homework and get him out. This is OUR Canada.

…Even Blue Rodeo knows Harper has to go,  Because He is Stealing all my dreams! (And it is actually a decent tune!) 😉

Happy Thanksgiving!! (Canadian Edition)

Thanksgiving Day in Canada is today, October 12, 2015.

maple

Turkey day, as some like to call it (including myself, facetiously, on occasion), Is celebrated mostly in North America. Canada, the USA, Grenada, Saint Lucia and Puerto Rico all celebrate Thanksgiving as do Liberia and Norfolk Island. Thanksgiving is celebrated on different days in each place, but I am Canadian and as such, today is my Thanksgiving Day.

To some Thanksgiving day is a religious event. A day to pray to their lord and saviour (or whatever deity they choose to worship) and give extra thanks for all that you have. To some Thanksgiving is all about the food, giving thanks for the years harvest being the main “thanks” and then pigging out on the spread of the year (although there are some who only see thanksgiving day as a feast for the day and a paid day off work). For the most part, no matter what way you look at it, the day is about giving thanks.

In today’s day and age, people (NOTE: When I say people, I am generalizing and do not mean ALL people. I mean some people) seem to take for granted the things they have. People seem to think that they are “owed” what they have and more. People seem to think that they don’t have to work for what they want. Today’s world seems to be filled with greedy, selfish, money/power hungry, self-centred ungrateful humans. It makes me sick. So to avoid being one of these people I am always thankful for what I have and I am always appreciative for what receive. I may not always say it, and I may not always show it, but I am, deep down, grateful for everything and everyone in my life, everyday.

Thanksgiving Day to me.

To me, Thanksgiving is about giving thanks where thanks are due. Thanksgiving is about being thankful and digging deep into your conscience to find all that you are truly thankful for, no matter how vast or minuscule.I am grateful for the goods and the bads. I appreciate the ups and the downs. I am thankful for the friends and the enemies. I am grateful for the happys and the sads. I am appreciative of the loves and the hates. I am thankful for the pleasures and the pains  All of these things mould me. They have sculpted me into the woman I have become. Every new moment; good, bad, love filled or crowded with hate, provides room for more growth to my identity. Every delight revises my soul. Every heartache modifies my being. Every comfort adds to my essence. Every despair transforms my spirit. Every moment changes me. And for each of these instances, I am ever thankful.

Some specific things I am personally thankful for (Note the following is a tiny minuscule percentage of all that I am thankful for)

I am thankful for Coffee.http://www.tmstshoes.com/sunday-coffee-morning/

I am thankful for My daughter. Kyia is the love of my life. Without her presence in my life, my life might be meaningless (I know, no life is actually meaningless, but I was at a pretty low point in my life when I discovered my pregnancy). Her birth brought light to my dark world, happiness to my depression. She is the reason I strive for better. She is the cause of my joy. She is the calm of my storm. She is perfection.

I am thankful for “The Princess Bride”.Princess bride

I am thankful for my Best friend, Declan, He is always there, for over 20 years he has been the brother I never had. He drove me anywhere I needed to go… until …He helped me find my first vehicle and taught me to drive. He payed for (most of, if not all) the tools I needed for school because I could not afford it and my scholarships would not cover them. He usually listens to me vent (or maybe not so much listen, but he just let’s me vent). He has been the only positive male figure in Kyia’s life from the day of her birth. He would do just about anything for my little girl. He is kind. He is thoughtful. He is smart. He is a nerdy Trekkie and He is my best friend.

I am thankful for knowledge. http://9gag.com/gag/200081/knowledge-is-power

I am thankful for Viona. For over 30 years this woman has been my shoulder. She is always there when I need to pour out my heart and soul. She is the only person who has seen me at my best, my worst, my happiest and my saddest. She is the only person I willingly let see me cry and breakdown. She is always that ear that listens. She tells me shit straight. If she thinks I am being an idiot, she will tell me. There is no-one on this earth (not “blood” related, such as Kyia or Nanny) that I love more. She has a heart of gold. She is a wonderful mother. She is forgiving. She is helpful. She is my sister by choice and she is the best sister anyone could ask for.

I am thankful for stress.http://aero-news.info/pages/q/quotes-about-being-stressed-tumblr/

I am thankful for my job. Although most of the time I very much dislike my place of employment or at lease some of the “higher -ups” and co-workers, I am thankful that I have a job. I am thankful that the majority of the people with-in the company that I do actually like are located in my local office whereas the ones I do not much care for are NOT located in my office. I am thankful that I have a Monday-Friday job that allows me to go home to Kyia each and every day. I am thankful I have a job that provides me with an income that is enough to support myself and Kyia and not have to rely on others (much) for assistance. I am thankful for (some of) my co-workers who I do enjoy talking to.

I am thankful for long weekends.long weekend

I am thankful for Sean. Yes you read that correctly. Without him I would not have conceived Kyia. Without him, Kyia and I would not have the strong bond that we have. His neglect and abuse resulted in mine and Kyia’s bond being unbreakable (I say before the teenage years approach … will I still say this in 2-8 years haha). So yes, I am even thankful for Sean.

I am thankful for sleep.haz_a_nap.png

I am thankful for Finn. They say one finds love when one is not looking. Well I definitely was not looking when I met Finn. We worked for the same company (away from home). My first impression was … yeah right douche, you’re cute, but you likely have a wife and kids back home. I was wrong. Thankfully. When he did finally have me convinced he was in fact single, it was still a difficult situation as we lived thousands of miles apart. But thankfully, fate (if you believe in that sort of thing) brought us together. He is Handsome. He is Kind. He is Honest. He is Loyal. He is an Uber nerd and I love him.

I am thankful for restaurants.https://twitter.com/nocookingtoday

I am thankful for Bree. There is a lot of history with my sister. (Bree’s story is a whole other post… or series of posts) We used to be very close. Despite the fact that I very much dislike her now as a person, I still love her. She has done a lot for me and I for her. I miss her most days. I miss that we used to be best friends. I miss that we used to trust one another. I am thankful that she was a part of my life and hopeful that she will be again.

I am thankful for long hot bathsHot bath

I am thankful for Social Media. I know, I know. I too have the typical love-hate relationship with facebook (I will use the term facebook to mean all social media). I hate the drama and the bullshit posts from some friends (I use the term friend loosely to mean all friends on facebook, family, friends, acquaintances, co-workers, or just people I know/knew). I hate the times I look at a friends post and think to myself “are you really that stupid”. I hate the times I look at my own posts and think “are you really that stupid”. Most days I just want to shut it all down, delete my profile and abandon everyone just to alleviate the annoyance that some induce. YES, I would not know what most of my friends ate last night, or that they have a cold again, or that they are flipping mad at the world and need to vent on facebook daily, or that “Oh my Gawd, You are dumb as a rock, how am I friends with you!” or whatever else may be annoying to me that day … But without facebook I would not be able to keep in contact with most friends. I would not see the pictures of my friend’s trip to Montreal. I would not be able to chat with my friend in NB who has no phone. I would not see the pictures of my friend in NS’s baby growing into a toddler and eventually a teenager. I would not be able to offer condolences when a friend on the other side of the country’s loved one passes away. I would not be able to re-connect with “old” friends that I have not seen in years. I would have no idea that I have many photographer friends who all take amazing and beautiful pictures. I would never know that my friend in NB got married last week. I would not know that many of my friends are in similar situations as myself and/or as each other. I would not know that my friend in BC’s child’s birthday is today. I would not know that my friend has been to more concerts than I could ever imagine. I would not know that my friends are doing ok. I would have no one sharing new recipes, fun quotes, silly jokes or those cute animal videos. And, I would not be able to share my life with them. So, I am thankful for facebook and I am thankful for those who I call “friend”.

I am thankful for orchids.https://lamberdebieflowers.wordpress.com/2012/03/29/orchid-plants-a-perfect-house-plant/

I am thankful for books. How can anyone not love books. I could read and read and read… wait…lately it has been listen and listen and listen, oh the sweet sound of audio books. Whether you prefer to pick up a physical book and turn the paper pages (if you have time for that sort of thing) or you like the Kindle app glowing at your touch or you like the soothing sound of someone else reading to you, books are amazing. Should I be thankful for books or authors here? BOTH! I am thankful for books. I am thankful for the authors. I am thankful that I can read.

I am thankful for music.

Bonjovi_illbethereforyou

I could go on and on and on and on and on and on (you get the picture) about the things I am thankful for big and small, but seeing how I would like to post this today and not in 143 years (that is my guess as to how long it would (consecutively) take to type out all I am thankful for…Yes, that much), I will end it here.

So, this is me being thankful for you.

Finn… My love story

I was working away from home when I met Finn. I know a lot of love stories start with “I knew I wanted him as soon as I saw him” or “It was love at first site” or something along those lines, but It wasn’t like that here. Probably because I was cranky and bitter and missed home. I wasn’t looking for love or even friends, I just wanted to work in order to provide for Kyia and then go home and spoil her with time, love and shopping.

Owl Love you Forever

I am not going to lie, I did notice him right from day 1. (Well, day 1 being the day I met him, which was actually day 8 of this job, we will call JobKL). He made sure I noticed him. Looking back, I see it all now. like they say hind-sight is 20-20.

He walked into the trailer my “crew” used as both a lunch room and (work) shop (he was on a different crew and a different shift than I) wearing his baggy blue overalls, big work boots and blue company hardhat which he lined with white electrical tape. He spewed out a very cheery “Good Morning”  as he walked over to a stool he intended to use as his work-space for the next week or so. I looked up to see his deep blue eyes smiling at me. I must admit that I did immediately think “oh he is a cutie”, but that was it and I muttered back, “Good Morning”. Every morning for the first couple-few weeks, it was the same thing, those stunning blue eyes smiling looking at me flirtatiously as he gleefully announced his presence with a “Good morning!”. I thought nothing of this and paid little attention other than to reply with a good morning. A couple days went by when us smokers (Note: I quit 10 months ago and no longer smoke. YAY me!!) discovered a closer “smoke pit” to our trailer. We started to use this closer one. It seems Finn used this one as well. There was no hesitation in his striking up conversation and including me in group conversations upon his first notice of me joining his crew’s spot for our scheduled smoke breaks. Sometime during our first (group) conversation (and many more times over the next couple months), he was sure to casually mention, multiple times, that he was single with no kids. Anytime anyone mentioned their wife or kid, he tossed his little “no wife or girlfriend here” or “I have no kids” or the more annoying, “I am not broke, I have no girlfriend or kids” into the mix. This No Wife/GF/Kids crap I did notice, I actually found it quite annoying and eye roll worthy (Now I realize he may have been trying to attract my attention to the fact he was available … and well I just wasn’t biting, yet). But I ignored the annoyance because I actually enjoyed talking to Finn. He was smart. I could actually have an intelligent conversation with someone. YAY! But I was cautious. No Girlfriend, wife or kids my ass. I don’t believe it for a second. Away from home at these “camp” jobs, more often than not, most (not all, but a large amount) of those guys will tell you they are single whether they are or not, just to get in your pants. And here is Finn, smart, handsome, nice, polite and single? Unlikely.

Eventually, during my second shift (which happened to be 3 weeks long and just before a 2 week Christmas break), Finn took things to another level (as chatting in the smoke pit was obviously not working at all), he started to sit with me at dinner, every chance he got. but I did not grant him the same courtesy (please keep in mind that I hated this place, I hated this job, I hated that I had to work away from Kyia, Also my previous “camp job” was HELL, I was bitter and cranky). Basically if I got to the dinner room first and had myself seated at a table, he would join me. If He was seated first (or not there), I sat alone. I just did not care for the company. I just wanted to eat, have my end of the day smoke and go to bed. On the days I ate alone, I rarely smoked alone. I think he waited until I was finished eating and then “followed” me out to the smoking area to strike up more conversation and spend more time with me?

Two days before Christmas vacation “go home day” Finn brought up a TV show that sounded very interesting to me. I mentioned that I would have to look that up as it sounded like something I might like to watch. DING! There is his in! Well he quickly informed me that he had the first 4 seasons on his laptop in his room and if I had a USB he would copy the seasons onto it for me. So He told me to bring my USB to dinner and he would transfer the seasons over. Cool I thought. So I did. Copying 4 seasons of a TV show takes a loooong time. So here is how that played out. We walked to his room and started the transfer. I stood next to the door and we chatted for a bit then he decided to mention that, hey since this is going to take at least an hour, would I like to watch an episode with him. Oh sure, why not. I will just sit right here on the edge of the bed (keep in mind this is a camp job. the rooms have a bed, a TV, a desk and chair. Finn is in the chair (at this time) so only the bed is free and I sure as hell wasn’t going to sit on his lap (I am still not convinced he is actually available, also, I just don’t want “anything” right now). The show starts and Finn sits on the bed beside me … now I am starting to think this may be a ploy to get me in the sack (I really had it in my head that all the men at these jobs were douche bag pigs, a lot are, but not all)… so NOT going to happen! We watched the show with nothing more than an arm around the shoulder/neck cuddly type move and a casually rejected attempt at a kiss. Minimal awkwardness. When the show was over, the copying was still not done, so we just agreed he would bring the USB with him next day.

Christmas break came and went. During that time, We became Facebook friends and started chatting back and forth during days off as well as during work shift.

Back to work after Christmas, I was a little more comfortable at this job than before (Believe it or not, this lack of hatred for this job had little to do with Finn and a lot to do with a little older man who restored my faith in humanity, but none the less, I was a bit less cranky). During this shift I changed positions and moved to a new trailer to assume my role in an office type position. This trailer happened to be one that was very close to the trailers used by Finn’s crew and was actually shared by some of them. Finn continued to, what I can only assume was, pursue me. Still with the sitting with me during dinner, still with standing beside me and engaging me in conversation in the smoking areas and still with the I have no girlfriend nonsense. But, I started to notice (a bit) more at this point (I am chalking that up to me being just a tad less miserable at JobKL). I noticed that when we were in a little group having our smoke break, Finn always moved to stand next to me. I noticed that although he had previously mentioned that he rarely went for a cigarette after dinner, yet he was out there with me every day. I noticed that he sat with me at dinner everyday, even when his “friends” or “buddies” were at another table. I noticed that he was pursuing me. We started hanging out a little more over the the course of this shift and the next.

During the following shift, I finally accepted that perhaps Finn is not only looking for a roll in the hay. Perhaps he is in fact singe/ available and actually interested in me. I did start to consider that our actual residences were thousands of miles apart but, what the hell, I let go, just a little. I mean we work for the same company, we will likely be on jobs together for a while. If it doesn’t work out, we can be put on separate jobs as the company has many jobs at many locations in the works. Also, we “live” too far away from each other for any awkward accidental run ins. (haha).  So, He won me over, for the most part. But this is still not the love story because it will still be months before I realize I Loved him (well when I finally allow myself to see it and admit it to myself), but it was fun and nice none the less. We spent most of our evenings at camp together. Still with the dinners and still with standing next to me during breaks. Except that now, if he were there first, I sat with him too. When I arrived back to work from my days off (at 9pm), he was always there to meet me and assist in bringing my bags to my room. He would often find (what seemed like) excuses to visit me in my office. We never displayed any type of affection in public. sure we hung out and ate together, but no googly eyes or hand holding or kissing for anyone to see. Although one day during our last shift he came in to my office and snuck a kiss, just a little one, a tiny peck. I think that may have been the moment I started to fall.

Everyone knew. Most thought we were just “sleeping together” (and they spread those rumours, which we denied right to the end of that job). But one person saw that it may be more than that. A co-worker on my crew who happened to know Finn and be a friend of his, we will call him Quinn. I liked Quinn, he was a little weird, but he was decent. On a trip back to work from days off, within minutes of arriving at camp, with Finn and I newly into the “seeing each other” stage, Quinn and I were chatting and somehow the topic of Finn being there for the arrival of the bus came up. Quinn gave me a look and said something like “He is waiting for you to arrive” Me still being in denial said. “No, he is just out having a smoke”. Quinn, who doesn’t like to beat around the bush much said something along the lines of “I have known Finn for a few years and he has never come out for a smoke after dinner, let alone at 9 at night. He really likes you and he is waiting for you” (Not what he actually said, but this is the summation and gist of it). I was taken aback a bit and really had nothing to say. Quinn rendered me speechless with a simple sentence (or 2). A rarity for sure. But it made me start to think and notice even more.

We spent the next few months together at work, during breaks and every evening. On days off we messaged back and forth daily. It was kind of nice, different, but nice.

After 7 months, JobKL was coming to an end. As it wrapped up, I wondered if this was it. Is this going to continue as a long distance relationship and on jobs together here and there or are we just going to go our separate ways. I visited his actual home at the end of this job and spent the weekend with him before heading home myself unsure as to whether or not we were continuing on … (Neither one of us are very good at those relationship talks, so we just kind of went with it and let the chips fall where they may). We continued to chat and keep in contact daily and a couple weeks(ish) after JobKL finished, Finn was placed at JobCL. He fairly quickly inquired as to whether or not they needed anyone with my skills and, voila, we worked our second job together the following shift. This led me to believe he wanted to continue on, and …wait … is this turning into an actual relationship??

On my first day, there were a few of us newbies to this site and Finn took charge to make sure we all knew where we were going. Not just me, but everyone. *sigh* He is so thoughtful and helpful. I think I fell a tiny bit more. Our time (meaning the time Finn and I spent together) at this job was fairly similar to the one at Job KL, pretty much always together. The only difference, we were on the same shift and therefore got to spend each whole shift together (minus working hours of course). As Finn started one shift before me, it turned out he also ended one shift before me. On his last day, I happened to be a bit sick. I was quite upset about this illness, which only made it worse. I did not know when I would next see Finn and I was stuck in the lunch trailer waiting for a drive back to camp because I was vomiting and nauseous (no I wasn’t pregnant! I had some stomach flu or something) instead of spending his last day with him, who wouldn’t be upset! When it was time for him to leave, he came into the trailer to find me still sitting there with my head down on the table, nauseous and barely able to move. he leaned down, whispered “feel better”, kissed the top of my head (falling more…) and left. As he was walking out the door to catch his ride home he said something along the lines of I will talk to you in a bit or I will text you later or something like that. He did.

He went directly to another job when he left JobCL as did I (too bad they were different jobs this time). My final job with this company actually. JobFS a hotel instead of a “camp”. His job location had him pretty much passing right through the area where I was (ok, it was a bit out of the way, but not much). He drove to work, as opposed to the typical work provided transportation, left a day early and stopped in to see me with every trip back to work. It always managed to be my day off (this (my) job had a different schedule than the previous ones, it was 6 days of work and 1 off for 30 (ish) days, but still away from home so we stayed for the 30(ish) days straight). So Finn would stop in on his way home spend the day and night with me and then continue his trek to work when I left for work in the morning.

JobFS ended and I spent the next 6 months jobless, not because the company had no work for me, but because I decided I can no longer do these away jobs. Spending this much time away from Kyia was mentally draining on both of us. I needed a local job. During these 6 months I spent 5 of them travelling to Finns place in Alberta every 3-4 weeks for a weekend here and 4 or 5 days there. This was tough (and expensive). When Kyia and I finally moved to Alberta (which was a decision based solely on what was best for myself and Kyia and Finn being there was not a factor, just an added bonus) was when I finally accepted that I was in love. It wasn’t until My daughter and Finn met (which was not until after we moved to Alberta) that I let myself feel it. When I saw that he was amazing with Kyia and she just adored him, I was hooked.

It has been just about a year and a half since I moved to Alberta and nearly 3 years since the day we met. We are now (pretty much) living together (he still has his place but 1. he is never there and 2. he is allowing a friend to basically sublet it for a bit) and I couldn’t be happier. (Well I could, I could win the lottery!)

Education

graduation-hat2

One of the greatest moments of my life was receiving the news that I graduated and received a diploma in my technology discipline. I did not graduate high school So receiving this diploma and walking across the stage meant the world to me. I still get teary eyed thinking about it.

Why did I not graduate high school? Well, 6 BIG moves to 4 different cities (with umpteen moves within each city) in 4 provinces and 8 different high schools in 5 years. I gave up. My Mother moved us to BC, then shipped me off to Ontario, I split to NB, back to BC, shipped off to NS then back to NB. I was 19 still in grade 10 because I didn’t finish a single year. 1 day I was sitting in a class and just completely gave up. I thought to myself “I am too old for this shit” and I walked out. I never went back. FYI … I was 19 with an attitude, to me, at that time, I was too old for that shit. A couple years later I wrote my GED and received my diploma for that. I did nothing to obtain the GED. No schooling, no studying, nothing. I just wrote it. The lack of work put into achieving the GED made it just a piece of paper that could help me get a job. I got a job, and then another, and then another. Always crappy meaningless minimum wage jobs. Retail, Call centres, Home care. Jobs that bored me and I despised.

After the birth of Kyia, I decided enough is enough, I will not raise my daughter on welfare nor will I raise her while I work my ass off at a menial minimum wage job, “I am too smart for this shit”. I want to be able to support my daughter. I want to be able to provide her with more than just the bare necessities. I want her to never go without, as I had my entire life. I was raised on welfare. I had nothing. If it wasn’t supplied by a charity or a sponsor of some sort, I didn’t get it. New clothes were scarce, they were almost always second hand from a free store of some sort. This was NOT going to happen to my daughter.

I started my schooling trek in 2004 with many trips to school counsellors and career counsellors. I knew I wanted to do something technical and I had it narrowed down to about 5 courses. However, no matter which of the courses I chose, a GED was not good enough. I needed a lot of math and science as prerequisites to any and all of the courses I wanted.

So after deciding on my course I enrolled in upgrading classes, these were basically high school classes for adults. One and a half years of upgrading, all the Maths and Sciences I could handle, with an English class thrown in for good measure. I loved it. I made some great friends and learned a lot. I aced everything and was at the top of most of my classes. (Biology and I did not mix well, but I still pulled a B out of that one). By the end I was ready for my course.

I started my course, and on day one I was already lost. The instructors came in, guns blazing. They started talking as though we already knew what they were saying… I didn’t! I remember going home after that first day and crying myself to sleep convinced that taking this course was the biggest mistake I had ever made. In fact, I cried myself to sleep most nights throughout the length of this course. I spent weeks (months even, possibly the length of the entire course) trying to catch up and keep up. 5 years later, I still feel like I need to catch up. This course was so difficult that usually over 50% of the students drop out before the end. My class started with 28 of us and ended with 9. I hear that 1 graduating class hit 23 … but I bet that is a myth. lol

We had an instructor who was convinced that if you did not have a photographic memory, you should not be in this class. We had an instructor who never showed up for class (by never, I mean once every other week to give us an assignment or test), he was eventually replaced … by a hippy. We had an instructor who was pretty much a hippy, hippy van and all! We had an instructor who … well let us just say, English was his third language, his classes were usually the toughest, and because of this he was not very liked. We had an instructor who was also a pilot. We had an instructor who basically gave us all the answers. We had an instructor who looked like a turtle. But, with the exception of the “never showed up for class” instructor, each of these teachers had one thing in common. They helped. If a student made the effort to go to them for extra help, they gave it, and they gave it their all. I am not going to get into every tiny detail about every semester and every class but I will sum it up like this. I studied, I struggled, I failed tests (I had never failed a test in my life until I took this course), I stressed, I cried, I missed classes due to a sick child, I stayed up all night studying, more often than not, I fought, I worried, I screamed, I wanted to quit, I wanted to give up. I pushed, and pushed and pushed, literally to (and beyond) my breaking point.

I was accepted into the course I chose, but how was I to pay? I was on Employment Insurance and although they agreed to pay for half, I was a single mother on EI and I refused to get a student loan. I applied for every scholarship I could and managed to score a full year scholarship for my first year! YEAH! I did Manage to scrape by without a bit of debt. Between the assistance of family (some who looked after Kyia so I didn’t have to pay child care), friends (1 in particular who bought my tools that were required for the course, and others who assisted with the babysitting), and scholarships (I managed to get scholarships for all but 1 semester, my last semester, which I had to pay out of pocket) I graduated with no loan to pay back.

Obviously not my actual Diploma
Obviously not my actual Diploma

The 4 years I spent in college (approx 1 year in co-op job placement and I took approx 1 year off) were the hardest, most stressful, most exhausting years of my entire life (well to date anyway).

I would not change it for anything. These struggles made me see life in a whole new dimension. I learned a lot more than what I was taught in classes. I learned that I am stronger than I ever thought possible. I learned that I really can do whatever I set my mind to. I learned that failing every now and again is a necessity in life. I learned that if you want something you need to work hard and fight to get it. The best things in life are not handed to you on a silver platter, you need to earn them.

Working, Studying and raising a child (toddler) on your own is the most difficult task anyone could do, and I did it. I have a diploma in a field I enjoy and am working (partially) in that area. It took me years to get where I am and it will take me many more to get where I am going … wherever that may be.

It is not even 10 am and my “boss” has already walked past my office peering in 9 times

In Reference to JobCCC

Bird-dog

You should probably know that on days when this moron is in our local office it ruins my day (He supposedly works out of an office in another city, but seems to be here more often than not lately). His mere presence makes me sick to my stomach and makes me want to do very mean and violent things. I really dislike this man, both as a manager and as a person! This man is an imbecile, inconsiderate, impolite, and insulting.

Let me tell you a couple of stories about this idiot.

  1. Earlier in the year I missed a total of 10 days within 4 months due to illnesses. Colds, flus, bronchitis, and food poisoning (I think). I was catching everything going around and then some. it seemed as though my immune system (which isn’t that great to begin with) was completely shot. I was basically sick for those 4 months non-stop. I came into work most days feeling half dead and only missed the days where I could not function. My old “good” manager, We shall name him Goodman 😉 , was concerned about my health. He did not fuss about my missed days because he saw me coming in actually sick. This too goes for the District Manager, now known as DM. They both continually asked me how I was feeling, Do I think I should go home, and wished me well. They were concerned about my missed time, but seemed more concerned about me finding out what was wrong and getting better. Then in March my manager, Goodman, got laid off and we got a new manager. Let us call him Bird-Dogger … I have many other names I call him, but, this is the nicest one I could think of to “suit” him… So Bird-Dogger, on our first meeting, came into my office sat in a chair and without saying hello, how are you, or anything polite said “You miss too much time. You are not to miss anymore days without a doctors note.” As I was about to explain/speak, He cut me off and moved to another topic, Which was the fact that he knows nothing about actuation. Yea he admitted this. He then proceeded to DEMAND that I CC him on pretty much every email I send out to every person. I don’t, unless it is necessary. He was rude, completely ignorant and on a power trip. I was “not allowed” to say anything. He cut me off every time I tried to speak. When he was finished with his demands, he then got up and walked out of my office. I would just like to add that we could have had this pretty much same conversation in a much more pleasant way. Due to his demeanour, I very much disliked him from this very moment. (I mentioned to Brown-Noser (my direct supervisor) a few days later in confidence, that I can not talk to Bird-Dogger because he doesn’t “allow” it… shortly after this, is when Bird-Dogger started ignoring me completely …. coincidence? Doubtful.)
  2. When he comes to our office, he walks up and down the halls what seems to be every 15-20 minutes (maybe every 30). He peers into every office. Our day starts at 8 am and is finished at 4:30 pm. You can be sure that at somewhere between 8 and 8:10 as well as 4:20 and 4:30, on EVERYDAY that he is here, he walks by each office to (I assume) make sure everyone is here. After having this annoy and disturb me for months, I now shut my door when he is here. He is too much of a distraction.
  3. I am pretty sure he tried to have my job eliminated. Bird-Dogger tried to bypass me in our quote process. The way he went about it led me to believe he was trying to prove my position (and by default, ME) was unnecessary. Basically he tried to skip me in the process, but it just caused a lot of mess and confusion and still kept coming back to me, proving I will not be so easily removed. Ass. I specifically told him, after this project was completed and privately (but by email), that “Please in future to avoid this confusion, have these sent directly to me only and I will request assistance as required” (This could be why he dislikes me. I stand up for myself, my job and to him)
  4. He speaks to EVERYONE else, despite my trying to be “nice”. Bird-Dogger shows up to our local office, he will make his initial rounds. I can hear him coming, stopping at LITERALLY every office along the way, making small talk with all the other employees. When he gets to my office, he skips over it and stops at the next one (Not that I mind … I detest him, but it is the point of the matter, a manager should NEVER make an employee feel this uncomfortable). Out of curiosity (and partially spite), I have cheered out a “Good Morning!” a couple of times as he walks by and he out-right ignores me, UNLESS someone else is near. then he will mutter good morning back, but nothing more. I have tried to make small talk, I have tried to “be nice”, but he ignores me and/or brushes me off. This moron is not worth the time it takes to say “Good Morning” So I do not anymore, I just shut my door. (Note that this morning I forgot to shut it, but after his 9th time walking by in 2 hours, I got up and shut it)douche work

Just knowing this douche-bag is here scrutinizing, makes it difficult to do my work. I cannot concentrate properly and I cannot function accurately. I am constantly thinking, “when the hell is he going home?” Every time I look at his caustic face, it causes me utter disgust, irritation and rage. Shutting my door helps a little as I do not have to watch him saunter by my office over and over and over.

Sadly, we are moving in a few months to a new office. Pretty much everyone will have a cubicle. I will not like this. How will I cope with having that creep gawk at me anytime he feels the urge to “Bird-Dog”. How will I endure having his repugnant voice in hearing range at all times. How will I adapt with his loathsome self present with no door to shut him out.

I abhor this man. If I won a huge lottery … say $50 Million … I would pay Bird-Doggers manager (DM) a million fricking dollars to FIRE his ass. Not “lay – off”, not a position change, out right fired. I am dead serious. I feel that strongly. I have no use for his Bad “I am in charge” attitude, his offensive presence and what I hesitantly call Bullying.